


The Core

by karlo1469



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angelic Grace, Brotherly Affection, Canon Compliant, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, The core - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-18 06:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14847224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karlo1469/pseuds/karlo1469
Summary: Dean misses Cas, so he asks him to come visit. When Dean realizes something else, he unintentionally upsets Cas, but all they need to do is talk it out.





	1. Return

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Dean/Cas Reverse Bang 2018. My first ever challenge, so I hope you enjoy reading it and also give the [artist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whichstiel/pseuds/whichstiel/) some love for her wonderful [artwork](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14902826), since it inspired this whole story.  
> Prompt: "You are the root". The art is included here in chapter 6.
> 
> also a very special thanks to my beta [Mallory](http://malallory.tumblr.com/), because I don't know what this story would have been without her.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two brothers return home after a long hunt.

It had taken them a while to get back home. They had been working on a case in Dubois, Idaho, a regular salt-n-burn turned to a sudden witch hunt.

The two brothers had managed on their own, though they had considered calling Castiel when they realized it would take a few days longer to figure out who was behind the murders in town. Dean missed the angel, but knew that it wouldn’t be necessary for Cas to make the long trip, when they would be going home soon anyway.

Sam had been quick to do some research that helped to solve the case, and though he hadn’t minded staying, Dean was eager to get home and had the car packed as soon as the witch was dead and buried.

Dean had been driving all night and day, while Sam had slept soundly beside him. He was exhausted, but as soon as the Impala rolled down the road toward the bunker it felt like his energy was fully restored. He was home.

“Sam,” he said, his voice gruff from being unused. He couldn’t stop the big smile from spreading across his face, and he looked over at his brother in the passenger seat, who was still snoring lightly.

“Sam,” he said again, louder and more annoyed this time. He hit Sam on the arm for good measure, which finally got his attention.

Sam scrambled to sit up, and looked out of the window as he rubbed sleep from his eyes. “We’re here?” he asked, a little unsure as he squinted out the window.

They had been caught in a backup on the highway, so it had taken a little longer to get home than Dean would have liked. Dark had fallen a few hours ago, so it was clear to see that Sam was a little dazed, since he fell asleep when it was still light outside.

“Hell yeah, we’re here!” Dean answered excitedly. He turned the engine off, killing the light and enveloping them in complete darkness. He knocked a fist against Sam’s chest, unable to hide his thrill. “I’ll get the door, you grab the bags, okay, Sammy?”

He vaguely heard Sam mutter an affirmative as he closed the door to the car and headed toward the door to the bunker. As soon as he put his foot over the threshold he breathed a sigh of relief.

It almost felt surreal to him now, arriving at the bunker after having been away for a few days. They had been living on the road for so many years without ever having someplace to come home to that it had taken him a while to get used to it, but now he cherished it and even missed it when they were away. He missed his bed, he missed the coffee machine, he missed every little quirk and feature that the bunker had, because it was his home.

He often wondered how Castiel felt about the bunker. Dean wanted Cas to think of it as his home too, but he wasn’t sure how welcome Castiel felt he was.

He was well aware that Sam didn’t cherish the bunker nearly as much, having had a lot of places to temporarily call home in his life, but to Dean, this was it. This was the place where he knew he would grow old and die, or at least he would like to be burned and buried out in the woods behind the bunker, seeing as hunters didn’t tend to live nearly as long as everybody else.

Dean turned on the lights as he went to look out over the war table. He could hear Sam coming up behind him, and turned around to greet his brother.

“Isn’t this great, Sammy?” He put out his arms to emphasize that he meant the bunker, and Sam barely threw him a glance before huffing and throwing Dean’s duffle bag at him.

“Yeah, Dean, really great.”

Sam trudged down the stairs, already halfway through the library by the time Dean started to move down the stairs too. He suspected Sam would just shut himself in his room, and seeing as he had been sleeping all the way home, he would probably either start reading or begin research for a new case.

Despite the fact that he had been sitting behind a wheel for an entire day, Dean wasn’t tired. They’d stopped to get dinner a few hours ago, so there wasn’t really anything Dean needed to do.

He and Sam had been together nonstop for about a week now, so he understood if Sam needed a little space to breathe, but Dean hadn’t even made it into his room yet and he was itching to do something. He entertained the idea of calling Cas for just a second, before he changed his mind. The angel was often busy doing some important angel business and Dean didn’t want to disturb him, as he was almost sure he would.

Instead he went to his room, threw his duffle bag on the floor by his bed, and put his headphones into his cd-player to listen to Led Zeppelin’s _Physical Graffiti_ , as he took his guns down off of the wall so he could start to clean them. This was going to be a long night.

 


	2. Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean convinces Cas to come visit.

Though Sam was usually the fastest one to start going about his day in the mornings, Dean was almost always up earlier than him. Dean loved to sleep, no doubt about that, but when nighttime rolled around he always found he had trouble resting. Mostly it was because of all of the nightmares that kept plaguing his dreams, but other times it was simply because he had a hard time shutting his mind off.

Many of his restless nights was spent thinking about Castiel and wondering what he was doing. He knew that the angel didn’t need to sleep, but still did to heal his body since his grace had begun fading. Dean rarely prayed anymore, because it was a one-way conversation and he might as well call to talk instead, now that they were on good speaking terms. He still sometimes wondered if Cas could feel when Dean longed for him and if what was left of Cas’ grace could detect how much Dean thought of him late at night. He hoped not.

Dean needed to be occupied most of the time, and when he had been lying still for too long, he always ended up getting up and doing something else instead.

In the time they had been living in the bunker, Dean had cleaned every single room and dusted off every single book in them in the process. He and Sam were currently in the process of organizing the library, but he doubted Sam noticed when they started during the day and there was a pile missing from the day earlier, already categorized and put in its right place by a sleepless Dean.

The night after they got home from the witch hunt, after he had cleaned all of his guns and reorganized his porn magazines, he went to raid the kitchen. The only things he found were some kale and a few beers. It had been a while since they had stocked the fridge, so it didn’t come as a surprise to him.

With nothing left to do he was starting to feel the heaviness from the long trip finally settle in on him. He dragged himself to bed and collapsed, falling asleep in mere minutes. He dreamed of the warmth of flames and startled awake, sweat beating on his forehead from something he wanted to do nothing with but forget about. 

It was like Castiel had a sixth sense when it came to what was going on in Dean’s head, and Dean knew that if he was here, he would not ease up on his worried gaze until Dean told him about the nightmare. He could be intense in his worries sometimes, but he meant well and was always quick to offer his help. Cas had never indicated that he minded putting two fingers on Dean’s forehead to soothe his troubled mind, but Cas wasn’t here now to help him feel better. Dean wanted him to be, though.

Dean found Sam engrossed in a book in the library and asked him if he wanted to go with him on a grocery run.

Together they quickly filled a cart to the brim. Mostly it was Sam putting vegetables in and Dean arguing that they didn’t need them. It made Dean start to miss Cas even more, because he always had some wise comment that could stop their bickering, and the longer the trip took, the more stuff Sam kept pulling down off of the shelves, the more Dean’s longing for their angel friend grew.

After they had paid and dragged their bags to the car, Dean decided to ask Sam about it. He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, waiting to get on the road so that he knew he wouldn’t have to make eye contact with his brother.

“Hey, Sam?” he asked hesitantly, knowing that there was no turning back now.

“Yeah?” Sam asked.

“How long’s it been since you heard from Cas?” He tried to act casual, to make it sound like he was just curious, as though he hadn’t been thinking about the other man for a while now. Cas was Sam’s friend too, and he wasn’t sure if Sam told him every time he was in contact with him. 

Dean sneaked a quick glance at Sam.

“The last time I heard from him was when we talked to him before we left for the case. He hasn’t called me and I’ve been too wrapped up in the case to call him. I’m guessing it’s the same for you?”

“Yeah.” Dean had to clear his throat when he felt Sam’s gaze on him. “Yeah, not a word.” There was another pause and Dean took a deep breath to gather his courage. “I thought I might ask him to swing by the bunker for a few days,” he said. “What do you think?”

“Sure, that sounds like a good idea.”

Just like that, the conversation was over and Dean felt the tension leave his body.

It didn’t take long for them to reach the bunker and unload the groceries. Sam disappeared to continue his research, leaving Dean in the kitchen to prepare dinner.

Fumbling for his phone in his pocket, Dean finally got over himself enough to dial Castiel’s number and put the phone to his ear. It only rang twice before he heard the crackle on the other end of someone picking up.

“Dean.”

There it was. The voice that Dean had missed. He could imagine Cas standing there, a tilted smile on his lips and trench coat just slightly askew, but the reason he was calling him was so that he could stop imagining and get the real thing here.

“Hey, Cas. It’s good to hear your voice, man. How’ve you been?”

“I’m very well, Dean. I assume you and Sam are, too? You sound very calm.”

“Yeah. We are.” There was a beat of silence.

“Do you have a new case?” Castiel asked, at the same time that Dean blurted out, “What are your plans these next few days?”

“Oh.” Cas sounded taken aback, and now Dean wasn’t sure which one of them should talk first. Cas beat him to it this time, though. “I am not needed in Heaven and I am not currently on assignment, so I assume I might have a lot of free time. Why do you ask?” He sounded clueless, genuinely curious about the answer.

“Well, I thought… Me and Sam, we thought that you might want to come by and hang out for a bit?” He couldn’t help but voice it like a question. For some reason he always felt a little unsure around Cas. “You know, just to catch up and see each other, since it’s been so long since we last did that. We don’t even have to do research or anything, I promise, though Sam has been looking into a new case.” Dean took a deep breath, trying to keep his cool and not ramble on like an idiot. “It’s too far away anyways, so we’ll probably send someone else. I promise. Just… it’ll be nice to see you, is all.”

When Dean stopped babbling, it was almost like he could feel the shift in the air. Though they were talking through the phone, the pure joy and excitement radiating from Cas were palpable in his next words.

“I would be honored, Dean. I’m on my way.”

No longer able to fly, Dean knew that it would take Cas a few days to get there, but he didn’t mind. The fact that he so readily accepted the invitation made Dean unable to hold his smile back and he knew that Cas could probably hear it in his voice too.

“Text me when you’re nearly here, okay?”

Not many other words needed to be exchanged, so they made their goodbyes so that Cas could gather his supplies and hit the road. Dean went to find Sam and tell him the good news, who only responded with a kind smile and a thumbs up.

With a grumbling stomach, Dean started making dinner, still with a smile on his face and whistling AC/DC’s “Shoot to Thrill.”

 


	3. Missed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas comes back to spend a few days with them.

Dean had been jittery since he woke up. Castiel had texted him that he was at the gas station in town and would be at the bunker shortly. Sam had gone for a run, or so the note on the library table had told him, so Dean had no one to annoy and nothing to distract him. He was just aimlessly wandering around the halls, scuffing his shoes against the floor as he waited.

There was no knock on the door, so the sounds of the hinges creaking open surprised him. When he went to see who was entering the bunker, he saw Castiel heaving what looked like a pretty heavy bag down the stairs.

“Hey, man, you need some help?” Dean asked.

Immediately Castiel’s eyes shot up to his.

Dean tried not to show how quickly he felt like he was losing his footing, but he still found himself stumbling a little as he went to reach for the bag that Castiel had in his hands. Castiel shot him a glance that he didn’t know how to interpret.

Dean simply smiled at him. “So which room do you want this time?”

“Don’t they all look the same?” Cas asked him, as they walked in step past the library and into the hallway.

They didn’t talk about it, but Dean could feel that there was something different about their reunion this time. It was no secret that he felt a little bit happier when Cas was around. He loved his brother, he did, but it could get lonely sometimes and there were things he could talk about with Cas that Sam would never understand.

He didn’t say that his heart had been racing since he first heard the door open up or the fact that his breath had caught in his throat when he had seen who it was.

Castiel’s bag ended up on the bed in the room next to Dean’s. It was just convenient that way, because it put him closest to the kitchen and the brothers if anything were to happen. Sleep wasn’t a necessity for the angel, but he liked to have a bed to relax in, and lately his energy had been draining a lot quicker than he was used to, so he was more inclined to retreat to rest in his own bedroom now than he had ever been before.

“Where is Sam?”

Dean had gone into the kitchen to get beers, Cas trailing behind him.

“He should be back soon, think he just went for a run.”

They settled in the library with beers in hand. There was a lot that they needed to catch up on and it was nice to relax for once. It was something that they had both needed.

Sam came back in time for lunch, the sweat beading on his forehead, but Cas didn’t let it bother him as Sam pulled him in for a hug. It made Dean suddenly aware that he hadn’t hugged his best friend upon his arrival. It seemed like an awkward thing to do now, though.

It felt natural when the three of them sat down to eat together. They only had each other left. This was their family now and Dean felt happy, despite the fact that there were so many things in their lives that had gone wrong. Now that he had a home that he got to share with his family, the people he loved the most in this world, there was nothing more he wanted to ask for. He had it all.

 


	4. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean wants Cas to stay with them permanently.

It was easy for the three of them to fall into a daily routine. Cas hadn’t specified how long he was going to stay, but Dean figured that with a bag that heavy it wouldn’t be a short visit, and he definitely didn’t mind.

They ate all of their meals together and watched a movie almost every night. It felt weirdly domestic for Dean to have Cas back at the bunker again. At night they brushed their teeth alongside each other, and when he made bacon in the mornings, Cas was just sitting at the kitchen table, clutching a steaming mug of coffee and humming along to the radio. Dean felt content with his life and for once there wasn’t an imminent threat of something big and bad on its way to corrupt their lives. 

One night when Dean and Castiel settled shoulder to shoulder on Dean’s bed to watch a movie together, Sam claiming he was too busy doing research, it dawned on Dean. He wanted Cas to stay here permanently. He wanted him to move in.

He hadn’t realized it before now, but he thought it was just a matter of course that Cas thought of the bunker as his home too. He couldn’t be sure, since Cas always ended up leaving at some point. Dean was sure that he had made it clear that he wanted Cas here, but sometimes they misunderstood each other and he didn’t want Cas to think that he couldn’t live here with them.

He wanted Cas to feel like he belonged and to call the bunker his home too. He knew that Cas was his family and that he belonged here with them, and if he had to state it to Cas to get him to understand it too, then Dean would swallow his pride and have a heart to heart with his best friend.

First he had to talk to Sam.

He found Sam alone in the kitchen the next morning, with a glass of some weird white liquid on the table and a newspaper in his hands, presumably reading about the recent deaths to see if there could be anything supernatural going on in their area. Dean barely took two steps into the room before the smell hit him.

He looked around to see if he could identify where the smell was coming from, but the kitchen was clean and gave him no clue. He sat down in front of Sam instead.

“Why does it stink in here?”

Sam looked up from the paper to give Dean an exasperated look. “I made ginger shots.” He raised the glass next to him. “You should try one, it’s good for you.”

Dean wrinkled his nose at that. “No thanks, I think I’ll take my chances.”

A beat passed and then Dean said, “So what do you think about Cas staying here?”

Sam looked like he was contemplating his answer, before he put the newspaper down and folded his hands on the table. This was going to be a serious conversation, then. He fixed Dean with a look that was hard to decipher. “I like having him here. It’s nice. Do  _ you _ like to have Cas staying here?”

Confused, Dean answered. “Of course I do. I just… I mean, it would be nice if he wasn’t going to leave again.” Dean couldn’t look Sam in the eyes, but he could hear the sound of approval coming from the other side of the table. Dean didn’t have a problem with Castiel living at the bunker; it was quite the opposite. “I thought he might want to live here. You know, permanently. If he wants, that is.”

When he looked up at his brother again, Sam was beaming at him.

“What?” he asked defensively.

“No, it’s nothing. Cas is like a brother to me, Dean, you know that. I’m just surprised. If you think he needs the invitation, then go ask him. I’m sure he won’t hesitate.”

With a pending joy bubbling inside of Dean and some confusion there too, after his conversation with Sam, he left the kitchen to go look for Castiel.

He knocked carefully on Castiel’s door and cracked it open to find said man sitting on the bed, pen flying over the pages of a notebook in his lap.

“Mind if I come in?” Dean asked. 

Cas looked startled to find Dean standing there, despite the fact that he had knocked on the door already. He put the book and pen down on his bedside table, as he scooted to the side of the bed to make room for Dean. Cas didn’t need to say anything, because the way he smiled at Dean said it all.

“I don’t normally like chick-flick moments, Cas, you know that, but there’s something you need to understand and I don’t know if you do.” Dean took a deep breath. He felt like he was off to a good start, but he wasn’t sure how he was going to voice his words next and whether or not he was even saying the right things. “You’re family. Me and Sam both consider you our brother and it’s nice when you stay here. You don’t have to leave the bunker all the time.”

As a first for all of the heartfelt conversations he’d had, Dean couldn’t stop looking Castiel in the eyes. It was like he was being sucked in by their vibrant color and he couldn’t help but notice the sunken look in them as Cas looked back at him.

“We want you to stay here, Cas.  _ I _ want you to stay here. If you want. Permanently. You’re my best friend, man.”

Castiel still hadn’t said a word, but at that last statement he broke their eye contact to look down at the hands folded in his lap. 

“I need you here, Cas.” He held his breath for a moment before saying, “Please stay.”

There was a long pause in which Dean started to squirm. Cas still didn’t look at him, but there was nothing more Dean wanted to say. He’d said it all, and the fact that Cas wasn’t responding made him anxious. What if he didn’t want to stay?

Castiel stood up abruptly, his hands curling to fists at his sides. “Thank you, Dean.” He looked down briefly, to see a shocked Dean staring back at him. “I think I might need some air now, if you will excuse me.”

Just like that, Dean was looking at his retreating back, clueless as to what could have made Cas want to leave so fast. Dean had honestly thought that this was what Cas wanted too, but judging from the way the angel reacted, Dean wasn’t so sure anymore. Maybe he didn’t really do chick-flick moments after all.

 


	5. Leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is upset and takes a walk.

Sam was paying no heed to his restless brother. Dean hadn’t been able to sit still since he’d left Cas’s room less than ten minutes ago. He was pacing around in the kitchen, mumbling to no one in particular as he tried to understand the exchange that had just occurred.

“I just don’t understand what happened. What did I say wrong, Sammy?” Dean stopped for a moment to spare a glance at his brother, still sipping his ginger shot at their dining table. Sam didn’t look up, nor did he spare Dean an answer. It wouldn’t help Dean anyway, because he was too wrapped up in his thoughts to even listen to anything Sam had to say.

“I don’t get it. I thought he wanted to stay, but he looked pretty upset when he walked out. Do you think I should go after him?”

“Hmm,” Sam hummed, not looking up from his paper.

“I mean, he’s been gone for a long time now, hasn’t he?” Dean asked again.

He stopped pacing for a moment to look at nothing in particular. “What if he wants to leave again? I thought I made it clear that he’s family, but I don’t know what the guy’s thinking! God, Sammy, what if he leaves and never comes back?”

Sam fixed him with a hard stare. “Dean. You’re panicking.”

The look that Dean sent back to his brother made him look like a deer caught in headlights.

It was clear for Sam to see and hear that Dean was scared that Castiel was going to leave them once and for all, but there was also something else behind his eyes, something Sam hadn’t quite been able to put his finger on before now. It had been lying dormant under the surface for years, and Sam had a feeling that it was only now that it was beginning to emerge from within Dean.

Dean and Castiel had always had this tension in the air between them, but Sam had written it off as the source of energy that Cas was radiating as an angel. He had thought that it was only stronger between Dean and Castiel because Dean still had the grace inside of him from all those years ago when he was rescued from Hell.

He could see now that he was wrong. He had a hunch that it may have also been this realization that had something to do with why Cas needed to escape the bunker to breathe for a little while.

“There’s probably a good explanation for why he left. I think you two just need to talk it out,” Sam told his brother.

“Yeah,” Dean said, after a moment of careful consideration. “Yeah. I’m gonna go find him.” He nodded absentmindedly, almost to himself, but didn’t move an inch. He was just standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring straight out into the air. 

“Now?” Sam asked, startling Dean out of his reverie.

“Oh, right. Now.”

With a last glance back at his brother, Dean left to go find Castiel. It only occurred to him once he was out the door that he had no idea where Cas could have gone. He dialed Cas’s number as he closed the bunker door behind him, but only got his voicemail.

If he knew Castiel well, and he often prided himself in doing so, he knew he might be able to find him in the woods behind the bunker. There was a trail that led a way through the forest and back to the bunker again. Sam had taken Cas out with him on his morning runs a few times, and Dean was pretty sure it was the same road that Sam took.

Dean headed for the woods, a little unsure, but determined all the same. He didn’t know in what state he was going to find Cas, but he told himself that he wouldn’t let him leave without talking to him first, and there was no better way to solve problems than talking about them face to face.

 


	6. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean goes to talk to Cas.  
> (finally)

****

Dean had been walking for what felt like ten minutes before he saw a figure beginning to take form in front of him.

“Cas?” he asked hesitantly. He slowed his pace and came to a stop beside the other man. Castiel was standing with his side turned towards the trees, hand outstretched as if he had just been touching something in the air. He didn’t look up at Dean.

“Cas?” he tried again. “Look…” Dean scratched his neck, a little unsure of how to proceed. “I’m sorry if I said anything wrong, Cas.”

Castiel moved slowly, deliberately, and turned his body around to face Dean’s. The fact that Cas wasn’t looking him in the eyes made him feel like he didn’t belong in his own skin. He wanted Cas to look at him, he _needed_ it, to understand what was going on in the angel’s mind.

“Cas?” There was no reaction, not even a twitch of his mouth. It made Dean uncomfortable, to see Cas so stone-faced. Cas always had something to say, some sort of reaction to Dean.

“Explain it to me, please.” Dean was starting to feel impatient. “Cas. What’s wrong?”

 “Dean, you don’t…” Cas glanced quickly up into Dean’s eyes. His eyes were filled with hurt and looked almost hollow in the dim lighting from the trees. “I don’t think you would understand it.” He was pointedly not looking at Dean, instead choosing to focus on a point somewhere past him. Dean didn’t know it was possible, but he felt a chill go through his bones, despite the fact that he was a little hot.

Castiel looked uneasy, as though he was trying to wish himself away to somewhere else, anywhere but here.

“Try.”

There was no reaction from Castiel, only the stillness that had been there before. Dean took a few steps forward and stopped right in front of him, reaching one hand out towards Cas. For a second he was about to lay his hand on the other man's cheek, but he thought better of it and instead pulled it back to his side.

“Goddammit, Castiel, just try.”

A moment of silence passed between them. The tension in the air was almost tangible.

“You are the root,” was all that Castiel said. He looked Dean straight in the eyes, looking as if he was challenging Dean to contradict him. They both knew the meaning behind those words, strange as they were.

“You are my root, Dean.”

“Cas…” Dean felt bashful. He had to put a hand on the back of his neck to hide the blush he could feel creeping up along his shoulders. “Come on, don’t say that. We have such a good thing going on, you and I, don’t ruin it.”

“How could I not? I may love humanity and how odd it is, but that’s not the reason why I am still here on Earth. I left my brethren for you, Dean.”

“You’re family, Cas, you know that. We’ve all made sacrifices, but we’re here now and that’s what’s most important.”

Castiel was giving Dean a strange look and it made him look almost small, as he stood there under the towering trees in an oversized trenchcoat, despite the fact that he was an angel of the Lord and had existed since the creation of the Earth.

“You’re more than just family, Dean.” In the small pause that ensued, it was clear for Cas to hear how Dean’s breath hitched in his throat.

“Cas, you d-” Dean began, but was interrupted when Castiel took a step forward, leaving all traces of personal space behind him.

“Let me show you something, Dean Winchester. Listen close within yourself.”

Dean couldn’t stop staring at Cas, amazed by the sudden change in him. He looked powerful, his eyes blazing fury, as he studied his outstretched palm between their bodies.

A burning white light started to illuminate the space in his hand and Dean was staring now too, watching the light slowly morph into something else.

“Close your eyes,” Cas said, and Dean did as he was told. “What do you feel?”

Dean took a deep breath and tried to focus on the tumult of feelings stirring inside of him. It clicked, suddenly. Something felt like it was moving inside of him, and it was filled with a burning want to be connected once again to the light sphere in Castiel’s hand. It was so blatantly obvious now that Dean wondered how he had not realized this before. The longing he felt for Castiel had always been a part of him.

He opened his eyes again, and despite the burn in his eyes from the white light between them, he focused his gaze back on Castiel, who was already looking intensely at him.

“I willingly gave a part of my grace to you, Dean, so that I could make you whole again. That’s a decision I will never regret. When I said we share a more profound bond, this is what I meant. I care for you unlike any other human, Dean.” He looked back down at the ball of light, unable to meet Dean’s eyes. “You are the core of my existence, what grounds me here on Earth. I feel like I belong somewhere, when I am with you.”

There was a moment where nothing happened. The disbelief was clear on Dean’s face, but he hadn’t dismissed Castiel’s words nor reciprocated them yet.

Castiel suddenly looked fragile, as he slowly let the light fade away into his palm. When there was no answer from Dean, Castiel continued talking. He needed Dean to understand, because he couldn’t live knowing there was a rift of misunderstandings between them.

“You are my root, Dean. My grace rests like a seed inside of you, and ever since we first met our tree has been growing and growing, up until a point where I can no longer bear it alone. My grace solidifies our bond with each other, and though I can feel you longing for me when I am not here, I sometimes fear that it’s only because of my existing grace inside of you.”

Castiel looked up and Dean finally got eye contact with him again. His eyes looked blue and tired, but was filled with an oddly sweet look of affection.

“We are linked forever, Dean, you and I, and I care enough for you to let you go if this is not something you want.”

There was a pause where Castiel let his words soak in, as he stared back at the dumbfounded man in front of him.

“Castiel,” he sighed. The look on his face was one of determination, as he stepped forward and closed the space of what little room there had been left between them. Instead of putting a hand on his shoulder as he tended to, Dean put a hand on either side of Castiel’s face, framing it and holding it in place, so there would be no more breaking eye contact.

“Your grace inside of me is just an excuse for me wanting to be close to you. I’ll help you, okay? You are a part of me, as much as I am a part of you.” He watched cautiously for any sign that Cas didn’t like what he was saying, but when nothing happened, he said, “You’re moving in and that’s final, Cas.”

Dean looked at him, unblinking and trying to wield his words to sound firm. “There is nothing I would change about us or our bond, okay? I’ll be right here, by your side, to watch our bond grow stronger every day, Cas.”

“You don’t mind that?” Castiel sounded out of breath, tentative as he searched Dean’s eyes for the answer he already knew in his heart.

“Cas, I’m right here, aren’t I? I’m right here.” He held Cas’s face in his hands for a moment more, caressing his cheeks, before heaving a deep sigh and pulling Cas close for a bone-crushing hug. “We’re not leaving each other ever again. I promise, Cas.”

_You are my core too, _he thought. ___I love you too._   

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also: cas’ things slowly start making its way into dean's room. permanently.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I of course appreciate kudos and comments, and please check out the DCRB [tumblr](https://deancasreversebang.tumblr.com) or [ao3](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/deancasreverse2018) collection for the rest of the authors stories and all of the beautiful art that was created. xx


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